If you’re a BlackBerry user, you’re probably getting tired of hearing about all the things Apple’s iPhone can do.

“Yes! yes!” I thought. Finally, the Mossberg has a Solution! So I eagerly read the article titled “Ways to Unlock The Potential Of a BlackBerry” thinking that I would finally have a leg to stand on in front of all these gleeful, satisfied iPhone users.

Ug. So the article covers such things as:

“Pressing the Space bar works like Page Down on a computer keyboard, moving down one screen per press.”

I am pretty sure most Blackberry users have figured out how to use the keyboard. Ok, next cool iPhone-like trick:

“Shortcuts in BlackBerry messaging can be a real boon when you’re trying to get work done quickly. While looking at a list of emails, hit “C” to immediately start composing a new email.”

Sorry, that doesn’t cut it as something that will impress iPhone users. Next!

“To reboot your BlackBerry without removing its plastic back and taking out the battery, press ALT, Right Shift and Delete simultaneously.”

Ok, so you are saying the Blackberry is about as hip as the PC? Grrrrreat. I get it.

I’m still in Orlando, digesting my first trip to Lotusphere. Here are some of the thing that surprised me:

Although I’m staying in this enormous hotel complex within walking distance of Disney’s parks, I am not in a Disney hotel. At least that is what they tell me. After they wish me a magical day. Very confusing.

The opening session was more like a rock concert than any conference I’ve been to.

The highlight of the opening for me was definitely when Mike Rhodin (the “Steve Jobs” of Lotus) introduced a new server called Foundations that can… fit inside a DHL envelope! I can only find one mention of this on the blogosphere, but I found this to be an absolutely hilarious reference to last week’s MacBook Air.

The surprise guest keynote was Bob Costas?! Last year it was Neil Armstrong.

There was also an opening panel discussion called LotuSalon, “inspired by the famous Salons of Paris during the 18th Century Enlightenment.” Hmmm. The most interesting part of the panel was realizing that in addition to knowing invited panelist Golan Levin, from graduate school, it hit me halfway through that I also knew another one of the panelists, Ze Frank, because we were in the same freshman dorm at Brown (shout-out to Unit 33!). Small, random world.

There was mention of Notes running on the iPhone, despite what Fake Steve Jobs says. But it was downplayed and almost just mentioned in passing. Oh well.

That was Monday and after that I pretty much spent the rest of the week inside the Innovation lab demoing our project Beehive.

Obviously I’m not blogging much and I’m only barely keeping up with my favorite blog, but I have seen some funny posts today. Cameron blogged about the things people hate the most. And Nelson blogged about how exhausting half-day language lessons can be, particularly when you must fit in a nap and a glass of wine all before dinner.

Mike and I just got back from vacation in Brazil, where we spent our time enjoying the sun and water, evaluating the quality of the caipirinhas, and worrying a great deal about where we would find our next brigadeiro. Exhausting. :)

Still, I highly recommend pushing through, particularly since the alternative is this:

(Matt Groening’s lesson 19: School is Hell)